I have decided to compile the following to share a hearty laugh....actually hopefully a tears rolling down your face laugh ...I know a fair few of us had a good giggle!
Romeo and Persia acquired a brilliant 'Brain Box' set from their cousin. The set is an excellent concept in science and electronics and is really really fun! The requisite instruction book is also in itself pure unadulterated entertainment extraordinaire! I greatly esteem children's toys (and films) that have an element of adult entertainment.
The following are quoted (no copyright intended people just pure delight) directly from its voluminous pages...
(btw the set creates a robot, a car, sound and lights, and more amazing things simply by clicking different electronic and accessory pieces together).
oh and I promise not to quote the entire booklet because you might just laugh so long you pee a little (and we don't want that now do we?).
Principle: When sightless infrared light emits from transmitting tube meets white barn door, it will reflect to receiver tube by white barn door, this makes receiver tube ducted, and then with control function of control modules IC inside, you can command the motor's operation. WTF? Aside from the fact that I can't find the farm, let alone white barn doors, I think what they are saying is plug something in and turn it on and that something will operate! okey dokey. Now to define 'something'.
It gets better...much much better.
Totally awesome number 2: Raining warner (quoted)- put all electronics out in the rain and it will make the sound of space war. Okay so that last part was not word-for-word but IS what it suggests. Of course you'd hope it was light rain so as to actually hear the space war going on (or off as the case may be). Just a silly little question, but WHY exactly would I need this warning system? If I was trying to avoid getting wet then doesn't it defeat the purpose that I would then have to go out into the rain I had a warner about to retrieve the bloody thing or face possible days of space war games going down in the rain??? Dilemma.
Another most excellent idea number 3: Noise warner. Connect the buzzer to terminals A and B or B and E (yeah it all goes together one way or another right China?) and if it is too noisy the speaker will make the music. Brilliant, too much noise will initiate more noise! A mother's best dream come true!
Just saying... number 4: Anti-theft warner with light at night - Daybreak warner. Connect the photosensor to terminals C and D, the speaker will not make the sound (okay, I'll humour this for a second..), if the thief comes in and light hit on it, or when it is daybreak and light hits on it, the speaker will make the sound of music. Right, so, let me get this straight for a second. The thing will go off eventually somehow. But it might go off sooner if a thief comes to visit and hits on it with their light. If the thief (I initially put he but thought that was a sexist thief comment and didn't want to offend the common female thief) indeed gets this correct it will play the Sound of Music. Julie Andrews style? Oh the hills are alive.....
(okay so when it says the sound of music it doesnt actually mean as in the film, I get that, it just means it will play music sounds...but you have to admit mocking that one is pretty tempting!).
And this takes the cake, a wee slice anyway, number 5: Baby Urine Alarm (yahuh it does say that!) - Connect the touchpad to terminals C and D, put it under the bed of baby, if urine wet the touchplate, the speaker will give out sound of music. This is obviously a most serious and necessary feature. Firstly because, I would certainly leave my baby until the wee was dripping through the mattress, onto an electronic device no less, and right under the bed. Wouldn't want to miss the wee wee event at all. This might just ruin the Sound of Music for me forever, or I'll be smiling like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland everytime it is played. Great, so now that we know how to detect if a baby's nappy is wet and have identified the nappy changing scenarios and have dealt with them, let's move forward to number 6. We'll need to take the urine-soaked electronic device from under the bed for now baby, so please baby try not to wee until I have used it to prevent the thief from stealing the car and house and then I'll bring it back and you can wee. Perhaps, in thinking about it, the urine-soaked scent will be enough to deter the thief...
A little more on theft prevention - a very important subject when using a child's electronic device to prevent theft. No dear we don't need a security alarm or a dog, we have a Brain Box. Yes, I am serious dear. Here, in more glory, is number 6:
Breakage and anti-theft warner - After connecting the circuit, if connect terminals A and B with wire, the sound of space war will stop (awesome, must note that one for reference).When practice it in anti-theft, you may put a long thin wire through the object which you want it to be guard against theft, such as bicycles, motor bicycles (I know, right?), cars, doors, windows etc. Then connect two terminals of wire to terminals E and B, if a thief breaks the thin wire (oy, did you break the long thin wire? Dear thief would you be ever so kind as to return and break this long thin wire so that we know you have been (it'll definitely be worth your while)), the alarm IC will make the sound of space war at once.
and just for a little tickle...
Time-delay sound-controlled song singing motor.
Vibration-controlled, sound-controlled, hand-controlled, variable speed (as if the other variables weren't enough) doorbell.
And this is a particular favourite: Light-controlled music doorbell. Replace the press switch with photosensor, you may use light to control the music doorbell. When light hits at the photosensor 16, the doorbell sounds. If the photosensor is shaded from light, the music stops. Excellent. So the WTF doorbell will play music all day long and to top it off, when the neighbour asks why we didn't answer the door last night we'll be asking whether they had their torch with them and were they shining it at 16 on the doorbell photosensor? Oh, you weren't, well that's why we didn't answer. The doorbell photosensor was 'shaded from light' and thus the 'music stops'.
The front cover of the book suggests : 'Magical box to develop your intelligence', 'Accompany with colorful childhood', 'Drowning (err I mean Travelling) in the sea of science'. Oh yeah, real intelligence (err intelligent).
Mocking aside (read that as serious taking of the urine....I mean piss), I have to agree that this is an excellent concept and brilliant fun. These are actually expensive and quality toys. However, I have to concede that the language needs to be more intelligible for children, because it is aimed at them!
Still, I highly recommend this product, and not just for the lol's!
No comments:
Post a Comment