Admit One...but not to a film.

I think it might be time to admit one something - kind of big and kind of (okay very) shameful (I'm not judging others by that point btw but am saying because I find it shameful of myself).

I use television, dvd's, youtube, and other forms of children's visual entertainment to entertain my children. I will make no excuses for this because what sounded perfectly rational in my head at the time of doing it (and even up to 10 seconds ago) now sounds totally, utterly, and completely pathetic. Thus SHAMEFUL BE MY NAME!



Sometimes, I want to get something important done, without interruption - step up to the plate TELEVISION.

Sometimes I just need a shower - say hello to DVD number 352!

Every now and again I just need space - Ladies and Gentlemen please put your hands together and make welcome the one and only YouTube (kid-friendly viewing only!).

Occasionally when I have to cook dinner - Welcome your host for the evening: Tom Bergeron - because no one entertains the kiddies like American blunders (ouch).

As a mother who is passionate about education, I feel defeated sometimes, because sometimes I just throw my hands up and say whatever (often in the early evening when I am trying to prepare dinner with two kids who need my undivided attention as they either jump off the dining table or dig up the most important book that must be read with urgency in the middle of the kitchen floor as food and trays and hot ovens going flying over the top of them (bugger).

Thus it is with great great huge gigantic dismay that I realise that tomorrow I must stop this before it becomes a permanent pattern of entertainment for the children too. I need to revert back to my nanna ways of entertaining that I so greatly enjoy. Designing homework for afternoon busy-ness and participating, limiting the television to sometimes great shows and watching together, and to let them play yet another game on the lounge floor even though the last one is still in mid-play and play too. Okay so I usually do these things and I don't let the kids watch that much television but you will get the idea of where my overexaggerated panic-filled dilirium comes from if you read on:

Today, as is usual with Sundays, I made homemade pizza for lunch and prepared a gingerbread man recipe for baking when cooled later. Romeo came into the kitchen carrying some of Persia's dolls utensils. Waving one around he said 'I've got my spatula!'. 'Oh great, so you have. Where did you learn that word?' I asked eagerly - hoping it was from cooking with me for a few years, or wow, great, from school talking about the scientifics of baking (since thay had been talking about knitting the other day (studying textiles and making clothes so that at least makes sense).

'I learned that from Spongebob!'

Crap, buggery, shirts and trousers, shot down!

Defeated. By. Spongebob.

This, as I blog while my children watch Sesame Street on the television that I turned on in preparation 10 minutes before it was due to start!

Shameful.

Byebye winter chills and ills I greatly despise you. I have been inside for 5 days with a very sick baby. I need air...

On the first day of Christmas my true-self gave to me...

a way to be happy...

...except I haven't a photograph of that because, well, because, and so I give you this as a sweet sub:

I absolutely love being a parent. I thrive on the struggle and find it easy to remind myself that the struggle 'won't be forever'. Christmas is one of the times it is easy to forget how tired one is, how hard things can be, and makes it easier for me to feel excited about life and parenthood to the extreme.

I absolutely adore Christmas. I always have. I love the renewed and different sense that Christmas adopts when you become a parent. It makes everything even more candy-coated and chocolate-centred and I love that.

For me, Christmas starts with all the thoughts of the impending season. So pretty much anytime from July onwards. But November is exceptionally exciting as I am able to start to introduce the excitement to my kiddies because they won't have to wait too long or lose patience as the countdown is manageable.

Anyway, Christmas is way over and is not actually the primary point for this but more the instigator and thus certainly worth mentioning!

I am still feeling relatively satisfied with the aftermath of the happy season lingering. It's easier here in New Zealand I suppose because we have summer holidays coinciding with Christmas and so an extended period of holiday fun. I have taken a different kind of advantage of this feeling.

I have been quite the cranky lady lately (read that as the past year or so). I have tried vitamins, dietary changes, limiting who I socialise with, how I respond to negative attitudes, and every other thing I could think of.

Except I realised I was tackling everything EXTERNAL TO ME!!

But this past holidays I came to realise that the only way to not be cranky was to FORCE MYSELF to be otherwise. The kiddy-bids were being affected by it and I was a shouty lady when I just wanted to be chilled mama. But when so much pent-up unhappiness/busy-ness/craziness/sleeplessness/relentlessness reigns sometimes it is almost impossible to be relaxed.

I am so glad that my concerted effort to enjoy life, not rush, not panic, not push, and not shout, has been very successful.

I have found ways to get things done in a relaxed manner, have not shouted at the kiddies, and the entire household has been a very pleasant holiday home to be in.

I have done this as follows (because I love lists and bullet points):

• First and foremost I declared to my loved ones that I was on holiday for 7 DAYS and was not taking requests for anything aside from my little family's needs.
• Zipped my lips and spent much more time listening and not interrupting
• Not retaliating with equally mean words when I didn't like what I was hearing
• Smiling
• Responding with extra enthusiasm to the kids
• Sitting and playing more with the kids
• Watching television sometimes instead of wasting time on the computer
• One week without the computer
• Taking more time to think before I did or said anything

There is a certain amount of humbleness in knowing that one's behaviour, and being in general, affects the entire household, and that being able to maintain that in a positive way is greatly beneficial to everyone, including myself.

A very interesting side-effect is that I have actually ended up with more time to get things done!

Sometimes it is hard being the primary caregiver, it is a 24/7 role afterall; but it is equally humbling to acknowledge that the role is extremely significant in the well-being and happiness of one's family. We know that, but sometimes it isn't until something big changes or is different that we ourselves realise this.

I look back on my photographs from Christmas 2010 and realise everything was different. The same but different. Because I was different. I had truly forgotten (and ignored too I suppose) how much my attitude, how I interacted, and how I responded to people and situations affected everything around me. And most of all that change had to come from within.

Thank you Christmas 2011 for giving me insight into happiness again after a long, crankypants year, and to me, for having the foresight to hijack the feeling and make the most of it in a positive way for myself and my children and family.

Happiness is seeing what you portray reflected in your children in a positive light.



A little sweetness is good for the soul. Trust me, I know.

I love taking a bath with my babies; reading to them at night tucked up in bed, together; seeing them smile when they accomplish something - because you can't see that if you aren't there (and that doesn't just mean physically there)!

Just taking time to be with them. Just taking time to be with me. Stopping wanting what I haven't got and being grateful for what I have has been paramount to feeling good about my life - because what I have is love and health.

When I Grow Up I want To Be...

Happy? To know what happiness is and how to find it when its definition and trajectory alter?

Today's reading...by Persia!

I never grew up 'knowing' what I wanted to be. I never had those girly childhood ideals about marriage (yes or no), weddings (definitely vs. hell noooo), babies (with the right man maybe?), or probably even life beyond...this day I... I never remember thinking about the future or what tomorrow was about. It saddens me a great deal that I hadn't those naturals ideas/feelings/thoughts and that they were never taught/encouraged/stimulated to any extent. Even at University I didn't know and went with what I excelled at. And why couldn't that have been engineering instead of archaeology??? Seriously! This inability, lacking innateness, has, and still does to some degree, make my life and defining my goals, difficult.

These thoughts and plans, and ideals, are something that we talk about with Romeo and Persia often. About life, dreams, how to be (good and bad), about being moral and just, right and caring. Blah blah, yada yada. I know. I am still trying to find what makes me  happy and here I am trying to instill in my children the very things I am still not 100% sure about sometimes. (I am sure about the happiness thing though!)

But, and it is a very big but, it is important that they think about things beyond this second, beyond themselves, beyond life, beyond the four sides of the very square box that can become ones comfort zone or bounded box! Of all the people and families I know, ours is less coventional. Our boxes exist sometimes, but are generally different. We are a multi-cultural, multi-belief family, which makes for interesting, mixed, similar, different and opposing ideals and ideas.


Romeo currently loves playing Rugby!

We have something that is great, though, we are parents. Parents with an ability to recognise what is important to us for our children, and to define what was great, but also where we lacked something that seems important or where we 'went askew'. Being able to highlight the good, bad, evil, and darn right ugly, helps us better guide our children in life's trials and tribulations.

We are able to come together (for the most part) to make decisions that are right based on our children and life as we live it in our house.

Our children are happy, well-balanced individuals at this moment in their lives. They think, they question, they challenge, they judge, and they are able to make their own decisions supported by us, their guardians. We will continue to do what is best and will encourage and support them in their changing lives as growing, changing individuals.

Romeo wrote this note for Persia. It kind of says it all about how our family esteems to support each other!

For about 2 of her 3.5 years of life, Persia has shown something that I never personally experienced with any great esteem. She is drawn to something of great interest. All things human life and body. I mean, since before she was 2 years old she has shown a keen interest in injury and health with an attitude of solving the issue at hand. Since then she leans closely over her brother's or her own (oft bloody) injuries with fascination. *Squirm*

She looks at human anatomy and biology books alot and does not skim the pages but looks in great detail at what is what and what goes where. My favourite question is 'what is this?' (luckily for me she already has the books in front of her so I can casually skim the pages for answers before she realises I don't actually know). In saying that, I sometimes find it necessary and beneficial to say that that is interesting but I don't know so let's find out together. It gives us some quality bonding time and we learn too.

One of the questions I get the most is 'what is inside our bones?'. That a 3 year old is interested enough to wait for the answer is amazing to me! I appreciate all the colourful diagrams that our books have, with the myriad of information and answers that even littlies can comprehend (to a degree at least). Soon I will introduce her to the world of human biology and anatomy online. I am sure there must exist Ipad apps for people interested in such topics.

Today we have been revisiting what is inside the human bone and it is fascinating. Compact bone, spongy bone, bone marrow (makes 200 million new red blood cells every day!),....Doctor Persia? I wonder. I encourage. I label (probably shouldn't). I support her interest.

Me: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Persia?". Persia: "Umm, a farmer!" Perfect! That is her other crazy fascination. See an animal..."I want to pick it up!". Yeah, farmer suits. Perhaps we could tweak the two and how about being a veterinarian Pershi baby?

Did you ever experience such notions of the future, dream your future? Become what you dreamed for your future?