Coco Chanel said "In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."
Nature provided the beginnings of that by making each and every one of us distinctly different.
There is nothing more obvious about being different than our bodies. Sadly though, this is often a negative aspect of being different because society has managed to place great emphasis on body image and fitting in with what is fashionable.
Tall, short, thin, curvaceous, olive, dark, pale, skinned, blonde, brunette, black, straight, curly, wavy, haired, blue/brown/green/grey/combination eyes, my lord the beautiful list of different goes on. It's kind of like a Starbucks moment....what am I made of....venti green tea frappuccino with cream to go! Yup, that's me!
I have fairly curly hair. And big blue eyes. All through school I must have been one of the only children with curly hair and I was teased beyond redemption for that difference. I don't remember the words but I still remember the hurt. I also would have had some of the largest blue eyes but blue eyes weren't as uncommon I suppose because I wasn't taunted for having those!
Most days my curly hair is my favourite 'bit' of me. I wake up in the morning and you can't really even tell I have slept on it. On the windiest day I have hair out of place like everyone else but mine still looks basically like it always does - a mess of curls and ringlets! That said, it is something I am conscious of as a result of school teasing! The big blue sparkly eyes have also done me some service over the years!
How we view ourselves changes with the seasons. Summer might be time to peel off the layers no matter what, or a dread from the time winter heads towards a close! Sometimes we might even dread winter because, while we might like to hide away, we know that all those layers make us look heavier.
How do we get out of this craziness about body image and self and others?
We feel judged for our shape, our other assets (or non-assets as we might think of them), our fashion. Our everything that is visible, invisible, and even non-existent (you know how some people judge that something is somehow because that's how it looks to them but in fact couldn't be further from the truth?) to people is apparently open to being judged.
We are likely all guilty of that at some point. After all, judging a book by it's cover isn't a saying that suddenly appeared for no reason. It is a fact that we do it once, sometimes, daily, all the time!
I think oftentimes we don't think it affects the person because we don't say it aloud but a look, a raised eyebrow, a shun, are all equally as awful as saying it. Perhaps we don't do any of those things but the fact that we think it means we are practicing the habit of judging and are at the same time telling ourselves that we are receiving the same judgement.
Those thoughts affect our thinking about ourselves. The strange thing is, sometimes thinking them about others makes us feel better about ourselves. But that feeling is short-lived, as are most seemingly pleasurable things that come via bad karma.
So, stop, drop, and roll away from the negative, and pump up the positive.
As I delve deeper into my thirties, style becomes a greater interest. I have always been a fitted jeans and pink cardi kind of girl! When I was first pregnant, I became concerned that I would look peculiar as a 60-year old grandmother wearing fitted jeans and a pink cardigan. So I bought black slacks.
"Fashion fades, only style remains the same" and CC is completely right about that. I certainly find it near-impossible to purchase an item off the rack in a general clothing store because I don't want to dress like the next girl/woman. I try to buy pieces that are from lines of clothing more limited in piece but more often than not I thrift because I am sure to find something completely different that I can love and that I love to spend time wearing.
The fun of that is also that the racks next to the gorgeous beige-nude sweater that I just have to have do not have anything remotely matching in theme, colour, or style and so I learn to mix and match and create a style that I can love. It has raised my creativity and my thinking. It has curiously also raised my greater interest in style and body image too.
Sometimes I enjoy my black slacks with that beige-nude sweater, luxury cream silk scark, black classic jacket and a matching beige-nude ballet flat. The next day I might outfit myself in black 'jeans' leggings, a hugging stretch grey short dress, and grey leg-warmers over my khaki chuck taylors. I am happy. I feel good. And I have little interest in how people view me, because I feel good.
On those days that I don't feel quite right about my thighs, bottom, skin, chipped nail polish or what-have-you, I am self-conscious beyond repair and am likely to change my clothes a number of times until I feel somewhat better.
Why is it that I don't sit down and think about making the emotional me feel better? Why is it that what I wear makes me feel the good, the bad, and the ugly? Because we are 'taught' that how we look is how we feel; just as how you look is how we interpret you.
I do tend to change clothes a number of times in a day because my Grandmother has instilled - through modelling her behaviour - a need to change to go out and change back upon arriving home. I like this because my going out clothes remain tidy and I can wear something suitable at home should I feel the need to bake/clean/cook/paint/play with kiddies, sit at the computer.
Being a stay-at-home mother allows me to hide away sometimes but has been equally damaging to my self-esteem and self-worth in this way. There is no doubt that as a mother most of us will spend at least a short amount of time wearing what we swore we never would, being a 'tracksuit woman', or simply feeling frumpy and covering up so that we feel a zillion times more lumpy, bumpy and thus frumpy. But that, my dear friends, is another set of blogs altogether!
Needless to say, parenting has taken its toll on me and my body image and I struggle on a daily basis. Two years ago I lost 10 kgs after my second child and I was on the thin side but felt healthy and refreshed after carrying kilos overload! I have plateaued above where I was and although I would like to lose a few more kgs again to feel healthier, I am not rushing in to do that, though I do tend to watch what I eat.
I am a pear. It is what I am. Even at my thinnest, my body shape resembles that particular fruit.
The choice, apparently, is to either resemble a fruit (apple, strawberry, pear), an egg timer (doesn't sound as Marilyn Monroe as being an hourglass does it?), or a shape (specifically a rectangle).
The point of physically subscribing to a particular shape is that your fashion choices will be somewhat influenced towards suiting you and thus making you look a million bucks and therefore feeling a million bucks.
I agree. I do. I agree that dressing to suit your physical shape enhances your feeling of beauty. Well, at least for me it does. I have features that I like and am happy to enhance and features that I would rather your eye didn't settle on (at all, ever, never).
However, there is a difference being sharing and caring. That rhymed.
It is nice to share your favourite assets but it is nice if you would care how you share those assets.
Style is personal and so is fashion - even those items on the shelves and worn by thousands of others at the same time - because we choose what we wear and how we piece a look together. We have different likes and dislikes. Fashion trends influence the general populace but it is so important to find one's own style and apply that within one's individualism (budget, size, shape, colouring, climate, ....).
Style requires time and that time investment will help you maintain and create a positive and happy body image for a lifetime. Fashion is a quick fix that requires little thinking as it is provided on a paper platter and lasts a season (if you are lucky).
What I have learned in my 37 years (today!) is that you need to learn who you are in your outer nutshell. Because who you are will influence how you portray yourself - or want to portray yourself. Finding this out will inevitably make you happy with whatever your body is. If you care about who you are and about your health, then how can your body image not respond positively?
tt&e is saying 'roger that!' beautiful people. Roger that!
No comments:
Post a Comment