On the first day of Christmas my true-self gave to me...

a way to be happy...

...except I haven't a photograph of that because, well, because, and so I give you this as a sweet sub:

I absolutely love being a parent. I thrive on the struggle and find it easy to remind myself that the struggle 'won't be forever'. Christmas is one of the times it is easy to forget how tired one is, how hard things can be, and makes it easier for me to feel excited about life and parenthood to the extreme.

I absolutely adore Christmas. I always have. I love the renewed and different sense that Christmas adopts when you become a parent. It makes everything even more candy-coated and chocolate-centred and I love that.

For me, Christmas starts with all the thoughts of the impending season. So pretty much anytime from July onwards. But November is exceptionally exciting as I am able to start to introduce the excitement to my kiddies because they won't have to wait too long or lose patience as the countdown is manageable.

Anyway, Christmas is way over and is not actually the primary point for this but more the instigator and thus certainly worth mentioning!

I am still feeling relatively satisfied with the aftermath of the happy season lingering. It's easier here in New Zealand I suppose because we have summer holidays coinciding with Christmas and so an extended period of holiday fun. I have taken a different kind of advantage of this feeling.

I have been quite the cranky lady lately (read that as the past year or so). I have tried vitamins, dietary changes, limiting who I socialise with, how I respond to negative attitudes, and every other thing I could think of.

Except I realised I was tackling everything EXTERNAL TO ME!!

But this past holidays I came to realise that the only way to not be cranky was to FORCE MYSELF to be otherwise. The kiddy-bids were being affected by it and I was a shouty lady when I just wanted to be chilled mama. But when so much pent-up unhappiness/busy-ness/craziness/sleeplessness/relentlessness reigns sometimes it is almost impossible to be relaxed.

I am so glad that my concerted effort to enjoy life, not rush, not panic, not push, and not shout, has been very successful.

I have found ways to get things done in a relaxed manner, have not shouted at the kiddies, and the entire household has been a very pleasant holiday home to be in.

I have done this as follows (because I love lists and bullet points):

• First and foremost I declared to my loved ones that I was on holiday for 7 DAYS and was not taking requests for anything aside from my little family's needs.
• Zipped my lips and spent much more time listening and not interrupting
• Not retaliating with equally mean words when I didn't like what I was hearing
• Smiling
• Responding with extra enthusiasm to the kids
• Sitting and playing more with the kids
• Watching television sometimes instead of wasting time on the computer
• One week without the computer
• Taking more time to think before I did or said anything

There is a certain amount of humbleness in knowing that one's behaviour, and being in general, affects the entire household, and that being able to maintain that in a positive way is greatly beneficial to everyone, including myself.

A very interesting side-effect is that I have actually ended up with more time to get things done!

Sometimes it is hard being the primary caregiver, it is a 24/7 role afterall; but it is equally humbling to acknowledge that the role is extremely significant in the well-being and happiness of one's family. We know that, but sometimes it isn't until something big changes or is different that we ourselves realise this.

I look back on my photographs from Christmas 2010 and realise everything was different. The same but different. Because I was different. I had truly forgotten (and ignored too I suppose) how much my attitude, how I interacted, and how I responded to people and situations affected everything around me. And most of all that change had to come from within.

Thank you Christmas 2011 for giving me insight into happiness again after a long, crankypants year, and to me, for having the foresight to hijack the feeling and make the most of it in a positive way for myself and my children and family.

Happiness is seeing what you portray reflected in your children in a positive light.



A little sweetness is good for the soul. Trust me, I know.

I love taking a bath with my babies; reading to them at night tucked up in bed, together; seeing them smile when they accomplish something - because you can't see that if you aren't there (and that doesn't just mean physically there)!

Just taking time to be with them. Just taking time to be with me. Stopping wanting what I haven't got and being grateful for what I have has been paramount to feeling good about my life - because what I have is love and health.